Welcome back to The Present Leader.
Last issue, we discussed staying grounded under pressure. This issue, we’re looking at something that can erode confidence and frustrate new managers: the team member who constantly pushes back on assignments.
Most team members rise to challenges and grow when they’re stretched. But sometimes pushback turns into a pattern. When it does, it doesn’t just slow down work, it can make you question yourself: Am I being too controlling? Are they disengaged? What’s going on here?
So, how do you lead when pushback becomes a pattern, without shutting down the conversation, losing team engagement, or letting accountability slip?
Insight: Pushback is information
When a team member pushes back on an assignment, the instinct is to manage the resistance. You want to keep things moving. You want alignment.
But when pushback becomes a pattern, it's rarely about the work itself. It's usually pointing to something underneath:
An overloaded plate: A team member who's genuinely at capacity will often point to specific projects and competing deadlines. In this case, the pushback is situational. Address the workload and it should resolve itself.
Unclear expectations: Pushback can sometimes be a disguise for direction. They’re not saying no; they’re saying they don’t know where to start.
Fear of failing: This one is the trickiest because it often disguises itself as the other two. The team member says they're busy or unsure of the scope, but underneath it's the discomfort of doing something unfamiliar.
If you treat it as defiance, you miss what it’s telling you.
Your job isn’t to overcome the resistance. It’s to understand what’s driving it.
Real Leadership Story: The pushback pattern
A manager I worked with faced a recurring challenge: a reliable and creative team member consistently said they didn’t have the capacity to take on new tasks, despite being chosen for their fit, interest and ability to handle the work.
At first, the manager pushed back, insisting why they were the best person to take it on. The effect was harmful to the team. Meetings slowed, and other team members became resentful when they ended up having to pick up the extra work. Energy shifted from collaboration to… well, the opposite.
Then the manager decided to have a private conversation. They focused on patterns rather than specific assignments:
“I’ve noticed you often push back or say your plate is full when we assign new work. Help me understand what else is on your plate so that we can find a way to better manage your workload.”
After some reflection, the manager realized the issue wasn’t disengagement. Unfamiliar assignments were creating fear for the team member. They weren’t confident taking on something they had never done before without more direction, and they weren’t comfortable saying so in a group setting.
With that clarity, the manager adjusted their approach. They reminded the team member that growth often comes from discomfort and encouraged them not to pass up opportunities to stretch. They also reassured them that the team was a safe space and that support would always be there to ensure the work met client standards.
The manager then spent more time delegating assignments, checking in to see if team members had questions about how to approach the work. When uncertainty arose, they walked through steps together. This not only reduced the risk of work that misses the mark but also fostered a coaching culture where asking questions and seeking guidance felt safe.
By asking questions rather than judging the situation, the manager helped the team member overcome their resistance and the team fell into alignment.
Tool of the Week: The Pushback Filter
When a team member pushes back, resist the urge to push harder. Instead, step back and observe the pattern:
Is there a specific type of work they tend to resist?
Is the pushback tied to discomfort with how we’re approaching it?
Does it happen with other managers too?
Gather your data points before acting. Check in with the team member’s direct manager for additional context if needed.
Once you have the full picture, approach the team member privately. Frame the conversation around the pattern, not a specific task, but be ready with examples if pushback arises so they can see what you’re noticing. Ask for their perspective and feedback.
Then solve for it:
If it’s fear or discomfort with unfamiliar work → break assignments into clear steps, walk through potential approaches, and reassure them the team is a safe space to ask questions.
If it’s unclear expectations → clarify the outcome, explain priorities, and suggest how they can approach the work.
If it’s capacity or workload → redistribute tasks, reset priorities, or adjust delegation so nothing falls through the cracks.
Question to Sit With This Week
When someone pushes back, what's your first instinct? What does that tell you about how you lead?
Got a leadership challenge? Email me at [email protected] and I’ll tackle it in a future issue of The Present Leader.